i have been working out the details of this exciting new diet plan over the last few day and i feel it is ready to share with the world. not sure if it is actually good for losing weight (i am naturally very skinny) but it is definitely affordable and fun. like a lot of great diets it all comes down to carefully controlling your routine to maximize what you get out of your food. firstly this diet works best if you get up between 2 - 4 in the afternoon. you want to maximize the time you spend asleep or inactive if you really want to stick to this diet. otherwise you will get effing hungry. so ideally you want to be getting up around 4 in the afternoon. even if you wake up before this i would recommend staying in bed til at least 4 to preserve energy. a useful tip with this is to make sure your room is pretty cold so the idea of getting out bed becomes 80% less attractive. in my experience 4 is the point at which you pretty much have to get up to pee anyway.
rite so now your up and your day has begun you can implement your exciting new diet. there are three basic meals you will be enjoying, rice (with soy sauce), pasta (with oil and garlic) and bread (with a vegetable oil based spread of your choice). rice or pasta will be your main dish of the day with bread filling in any gaps. however the first step once you have arisen should be coffee. prepare your first cup then head to the warmest room in the house to preserve your body heat. the first cup should be quickly followed by the second and third. if at this point (between 5 and 6 say) you are finding it hard to concentrate on the VERY IMPORTANT STUFF you are working on then i would recommend a single piece of bread to keep you going. toast it for added heat and texture and enjoy with spread. another top tip is taking a cigarette with your third coffee as this will go some way towards suppressing your appetite and will stimulate your brain.
by about 7 or 8 you will be getting pretty hungry but this is perfect as it means your meal time will coincide with most peoples 'normal' routine. i would advise alternating between rice and pasta on a daily basis to avoid things getting too samey. if you are still hungry or hunger returns later in the evening then eat some bread. you will find yourself feeling pretty worn out and tired by about 1 in the morning so it is time for bed again. even if you find it hard to sleep you can remain in bed. just lie there thinking and keeping warm!
all carbs must be white
all coffee must be black with 2 sugars